Jaded Jennifer

Some days….like today, for example……I just wish I could sit around in my bedroom naked. Ever have those days? Where every place clothing touches your body hurts? Like, I’m pretty sure my ribs are currently being crushed by my bra and my pants are absolutely strangling my stomach right now. I kind of wonder why clothes were even invented and I really don’t get why they had to be made so restricting that they literally break bones. Ok, maybe not literally but it feels that way sometimes.

So why can’t I just sit around in my bedroom naked? Well, I could….I guess. I could always lock my door and lounge on my bed unclothed. Nobody would see me. Hey, if I owned a bathrobe, I could even just throw it on when somebody knocks on the door. Of course, I don’t actually own a bathrobe because every single time I’ve bought one I somehow lose the tie for it or it just disappears completely. But at least with the door locked, I wouldn’t risk somebody barging in and seeing me.

The problem is that I would still have to see me. And I’m not sure I’m ok with that. It’s one thing to see myself in the mirror when I’m standing up and able to suck in my stomach so that it gives the illusion of being flat. Unfortunately, I can’t really do that same thing when I’m sitting on my bed, criss-cross applesauce (that’s the PC version of Indian-style, in case you weren’t aware), leaning over my laptop typing. No, that’s when all of the flab scrunches up and the boobs flop down and all it takes is once glance away from the screen to see it. And I just ate dinner. And it was pretty good so I’d rather not lose it all over my keyboard. Especially since my warranty just expired on my laptop and I couldn’t clean the vomit out of the keys enough to get it to work again.

So I guess I’ll stay clothed. *sigh*  But maybe, just maybe, I could take my bra off and toss it in the closet. Maybe.